Last Friday, August 13, 2010, my mom celebrated her 90th birthday. Having been significantly disabled by Parkinson’s disease, she has lived in a St. Peter nursing home for the past few years. She has often said the activity she misses the most from her old life is going shopping. To fully appreciate this you would have to know that my mom was a powerhouse bargain shopper. She didn’t need to buy all that much – it was the thrill of the hunt.
As she became more disabled I became her surrogate shopper, buying birthday cards and presents for children and grandchildren. Last year she told me she felt badly because she wanted to buy me a present but there was no way she could do it and surprise me. So instead she showed me a picture of an item in a catalog, told me to buy it for myself and she would pay for it. My mother was always a very classy dresser and I generally agreed with her taste when selecting clothes or jewelry. This was no exception. The item in the catalog was a silver bracelet with green beads and silver turtles on it. My son has loved turtles for as long as I can remember, and because of him, I have become quite fond of them also. Never being one to turn down a present, I did as I was told and bought the turtle bracelet.
As she became more disabled I became her surrogate shopper, buying birthday cards and presents for children and grandchildren. Last year she told me she felt badly because she wanted to buy me a present but there was no way she could do it and surprise me. So instead she showed me a picture of an item in a catalog, told me to buy it for myself and she would pay for it. My mother was always a very classy dresser and I generally agreed with her taste when selecting clothes or jewelry. This was no exception. The item in the catalog was a silver bracelet with green beads and silver turtles on it. My son has loved turtles for as long as I can remember, and because of him, I have become quite fond of them also. Never being one to turn down a present, I did as I was told and bought the turtle bracelet.
When it arrived the packaging said “The turtle reminds us to go within until our ideas are ready to be expressed. Turtles bring us groundedness and connection with our original essence.” It went on to say, “wear this jewelry as a gentle reminder to stay grounded in your true self.” It arrived at a time when I was feeling exhausted by the caretaking roles in my life. As a daughter, mother, wife, teacher and, for cripes sake, even dog-owner, someone was always in crisis and needing my time and attention. I found myself being angry and resentful too much of the time. In all ways the arrival of my turtle bracelet was timely. I wore it for a number of weeks and tried to step back from my knee-jerk tendencies to take of everything and everyone.
At some point I took the bracelet off, put it in a safe place and promptly “lost” it. Preparing to leave on this trip I have been trying to clean out the clutter that has accumulated over the past - oh . . . twenty years. Sorting through a dresser drawer I found my turtle bracelet. I was hugely relieved, as “groundedness,” while perhaps not a real word, was nonetheless exactly what I felt I needed. As I looked at the original packaging I noticed for the first time that the company that made the bracelet was called For the Journey.
I still think my mom is a pretty amazing shopper.
Wow. Yes, your mom is an amazing shopper. I love that the turtle bracelet will remind you that, even though you always carry your mom with you in some way, she is definitely with you "for this journey" despite being anchored to her care facility in St Peter by physical conditions.
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